it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
