If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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