I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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