im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
