i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
