I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
