i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
