Quick, to the slutcave!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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