I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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