i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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