i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
