Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
