Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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