Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
