Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
