I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
