Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
