I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
