He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
