why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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