I wish I only lived at night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
