Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my liver is dry heaving
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
