Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
