forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my being single is dangerous.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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