She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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