I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
