Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
