I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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