hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
