Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
