and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
