Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
