do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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