I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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