i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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