I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
