Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
