Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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