im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
