I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
