that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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