is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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