he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
