hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
