Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
