if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
