I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
