i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
