After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
