what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
