he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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