I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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